My aim is cursed; one of my Angry Birds hit a field.
My Jokes
The only thing brighter than my cuteness is the fire on the Twin Towers.
Ernie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Ernie "how did you sleep?" Ernie replied with "I slept amazing! I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life."
Burt replied with "Good to hear, I slept amazing too. I had a dream that I was in heaven surrounded by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."
In my science class we were watching a video, and for no reason at all, it started talking about Black Lives Matter, and my friend leaned over and whispered, “White lives matter more!”
What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad?
My stepdad did beat cancer.
I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.
You know, I like my girls how I like my 9/11: Two twins that go down easy.
I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.
The average person in 2023 is less straight than the lines my 5th-grade P.E. teacher walked in college.
Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were.
Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5 AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!
My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I’m sorry you look like my old beat up shoe.
How much you wanna bet you will not repeat my name out loud (at school/work)?
I got a pen for my baby sister. Best trade I made so far.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)
Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?
Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,
Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.
My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink, but they wouldn’t listen, so he kept warning them. Then he was kicked out of the theater.
What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?
They both will die alone.
Hey guys, I just wanna say what happened to Kanye; he is one of my favorite rappers, and he’s going through a hard time. I don’t see why people can’t just spread love and kindness like me💕
I think that Kanye was right to say what he said. I completely support him, and I don’t understand why people hate on him for using his 1st amendment, and Yeezy should be sued for it.
Quote of the day: Love bests hate as for hate is the killer of friendships - Collin Kaepernick
