Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?
A: The pizza can support a family of four.
I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.
What is Jesus' favorite band?
Nine Inch Nails.
"Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune."
I'm a banjo picker, and I can confirm this is 99% true.
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
How do you beat Hellen Keller in musical chairs?
You move the chairs.
What was David Bowie’s last hit?
Probably heroin.
What do monkeys and gorillas love to listen to?
The Monkees and Gorillaz.
Which Pokemon listens to Aha?
Takemeon.
What did the baritone say to the alto?
Nothing, you couldn’t hear him.
What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
A violin has "strings" and a fiddle has "strangs."
What do you call an emo a cappella group?
Self harmony.
I would like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine, who was run over last week and is in hospital.
The wheels on the bus go round and round!
How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children's ward.
Like if you know someone is emo.
What do you call an emo strip club?
Suicidal Thots.
Someone asked me, "What are them scars on your arm?" I thought I was playing a violin.
What do emos and apples have in common?
They both hang on trees.
What's an emo's favorite Pink Floyd album?
The Final Cut.
I'm starting to wish my grass was emo.
Why?
So it would cut itself.
