Music jokes

One Erection would be a very nice name for a gay band.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.

What is a suicide pack's favorite song?...

Let the bodies hit the floor.

I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.

One time, the quiet kid hacked the speakers in a school. Next thing you know, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People starts playing.

I thought my wife was joking when she said she was gonna leave me because I wouldn’t stop singing “I'm a believer,” but then I saw her face.

Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)

Do you know Imagine Dragons?

Yeah.

Imagine dragon my nuts across your face.

What is the first thing the disabled download on iTunes?

"They see me rolling, they hatin'."

Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.

How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?

Take a flute and shove it up your ass.

I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts...

I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.

What is the most musical part of a chicken?

The drumstick.

Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."

Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"

Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"

Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."

Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"

Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."

I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.

What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A flat major.

If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.

Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor...

What kind of band never plays music?