Music jokes
What do classical musicians do when they die?
They decompose.
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat miner.
What do you call the musical kid who is very aware of his surroundings?
C sharp minor.
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
A drum rolled down a hill. Ba-dum-tsssh!
What's the best finger for fingering A minor?
What do you call a band made of cheese?
Grate That!
You guys know the notes A Minor and D? I really like putting D in A Minor!
There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.
Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.
Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.
Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?
A: The pizza can support a family of four.
I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.
What is Jesus' favorite band?
Nine Inch Nails.
"Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune."
I'm a banjo picker, and I can confirm this is 99% true.
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
How do you beat Hellen Keller in musical chairs?
You move the chairs.
What was David Bowie’s last hit?
Probably heroin.
What do monkeys and gorillas love to listen to?
The Monkees and Gorillaz.
What did the baritone say to the alto?
Nothing, you couldn’t hear him.
What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
A violin has "strings" and a fiddle has "strangs."