Music jokes
One Erection would be a very nice name for a gay band.
How do you beat Hellen Keller in musical chairs?
You move the chairs.
What music do Astronauts listen to?
Nep-tunes.
What is a tuba plus tuba? -- Fourba.
What is Jesus' favorite band?
Nine Inch Nails.
Music days be like:
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor...
The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I'll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away.
Why can't skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
I hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though I think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldn't wanna hurt your funny bone, but I think your starting to get BONELY so I'll stop pulling your leg. Now get out before I give you a bad time.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.
Alright, riddle me this: I am loud and obnoxious, I like music that rhymes. I'm a fraction of the population, but commit half the crimes! What am I?
What do you call a band made of cheese?
Grate That!
What did music tell the pancakes? -- B flat.
Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.
Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.
I thought my wife was joking when she said she was gonna leave me because I wouldn’t stop singing “I'm a believer,” but then I saw her face.