Music jokes
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano? Neither has he.
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
What rock group has four men that don't sing? -- Mount Rushmore.
You guys know the notes A Minor and D? I really like putting D in A Minor!
What do you call a musician 👩🎤 who drinks soda and sings 🎤 at the same time?
A popsinger.
If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
What was David Bowie’s last hit?
Probably heroin.
What song do orphans hate the most? "We are family."
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
Do you know Imagine Dragons?
Yeah.
Imagine dragon my nuts across your face.
What kind of music do wind turbines like?
They are big, heavy metal fans!
What concert costs 45 cents? -- 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
When he asked who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach."
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor...
According to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
A violin has "strings" and a fiddle has "strangs."
What music do Astronauts listen to?
Nep-tunes.
I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.