Music jokes

What instrument do people like to listen to while having sex?

A sex-a-phone.

What music do depressed people listen to?

"I Believe I Can Fly."

How do rappers like their pizza?

With extra rhyme-a-jalapenos.

Q. What's the difference between people and a toilet?

A. Neither does R. Kelly.

Bully: My mom says I'm not allowed to burn trash.

Me: (quiet)

Bully: HEY I'M TALKING TO YOU.

Me: Are you talking to yourself? Because I was listening to music until I heard you.

What did the rapper say to the computer?

“Yo, stop laggin’ my FLOW!”

"So you dropped my instruments on stage?"

"It was only the Bass!"

What did the Queen Bee of Destiny's Child say?

"I'm so crazy in love..."

Yo mama so fat and emo, we call her the rock and roll.

The emo kid went for a high five. People say he's still hanging.

Emos are weird to me because they dress up all black, and you know I don't like that, so that's why I don't like it.

What's a rapper's favorite instrument?

The MIC-DROPHONE!

What is Michael Jackson's chemical? The HE-HE-lium.

You're so ugly that when The Oh Hellos saw you, they were like "Oh Bye!"

I live inside my own world of make-believe. Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities. I see the world through eyes covered in ink and bleach. Cross out the ones who heard my cries and watched me weep. I love everything. Fire's spreading all around my room. My world's so bright. It's hard to breathe, but that's alright. Hush, shh.

Tape my eyes open to force reality (oh no, no). Why can't you just let me eat my weight in glee? I live inside my own world of make-believe. Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities. Some days I feel skinnier than all the other days, And some days I can't tell if my body belongs to me. I love everything. Fire's spreading all around my room. My world's so bright. It's hard to breathe, but that's alright. Hush, shh.

I wanna taste your content. Hold your breath and feel the tension. Devils hide behind redemption. Honesty is a one-way gate to hell. I wanna taste consumption. Breathe faster to waste oxygen. Hear the children sing aloud. It's music 'til the wick burns out. Hush.

Just wanna be carefree lately, yeah. Just kicking up daisies. Got one too many quarters in my pockets. Count 'em like the four-leaf clovers in my locket. Untied laces, yeah. Just tripping on daydreams. Got dirty little lullabies playing on repeat. Might as well just rot around the nursery and count sheep.

Why did the hip-hop artist always carry a pencil?

For those FREESTYLE DRAFTS!

I am a God. Na, na, na, na, na, na. Yeah.

She's got makeup by the mirror in her bedroom, Thigh-high fishnets and some black boots, Nose pierced with the cigarette perfume, Half dead, but she still looks so cute. She is a monster in disguise, And she knows all the words to the trap songs, Takes pic's with a cherry-red lipstick, Says she only dates guys with a big..., mmm

What's the autistic kid's favorite song? Yours.

Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?

A: Monoxide Child.

Do you know how I lost my music teacher job?

I tried to hit G by putting D.