Music jokes

"Why did the band teacher get arrested?"

"For fingering a minor." Ahaha, so funny!

God, I miss Stephen Hawking.

He was brainier than Kurt Cobain's ceiling.

Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.

What's a rapist's favorite scale?

C Minor.

I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.

I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.

Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.

What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.

What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.

Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.

Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

"Yes, officer! It was a requirement to run over that child. It matched perfectly with the beat drop!"

Did you hear about the gay choirboy?

He choked on his first hymn.

What does Micheal Jackson and a rock have in common?

They are both hard.

I wish the grass outside of my house was emo, because it would cut itself.

Why can't emos stand in chairs?

Because they never get down.

ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG

Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.

Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.

Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.

I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.

What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”

Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.

Why don’t violists play hide and seek?

Because no one will look for them.

What is the difference between 9/11 and rickrolling?

The Twin Towers gave up and let down.

Why is Jesus in pieces?

Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.

What’s a pedophile’s favorite band? Kids Bop.

What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite pizza topping? Pepperon-he-he.

Bro, Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter, celebrating right now, I bet.

Oh wait, I forgot.

Why did he quit the internet?

People kept on (rick) rolling him.