Music jokes
I make elevating music; you make elevator music.
Check out my new song. It’s called “Nlggas in the hood,” and it’s really good, so go listen.
Which band doesn’t make music?
One Direction.
What is the skeleton's favorite instrument?
A xylophone.
Why was the rapper always calm?
Because he had FLOW-ZEN.
Drums at Performance
Why don't rappers ever become chefs?
Because they can't stop droppin' the beet!
Why did the rapper become an astronaut?
To drop some BARS in SPACE!
How does a rapper like his eggs?
Hard-boiled, to match his beats!
Why was the rapper always happy?
Because he lived life in rhyme.
What did Tupac's homies smoke? His ashes.
It would've been too tacky to take a shot in his memory.
How do rappers stay cool?
They have MAD ICE!
Why did the rapper take a bath before his concert?
To get his flow SQUEAKY CLEAN!
What do you call a rapper who's also a pirate?
Captain Rhyme.
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
Why don’t rappers ever get cold?
Because they have so many fans!
What is Meat Loaf's new name now that he has passed?
Ground beef.
If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?
The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.
Orphan: I love abcdefu!
Caretaker: Why? You don't have anyone to flip off.
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time it was sung... the line “fire away” caused massive confusion and shooting!