Music jokes
What concert only costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
What do you call Dr. Disrespect on top of a building?
Diddler on the Roof.
What does Drake call his rake?
Da-Rake.
What's the difference between Wacko Jacko and Elvis Presley?
14 number 1 hits.
How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?
She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.
What do you call it when you rickroll someone in the LGBTQ?
You just got fruit-rolled.
Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to be a woofer.
Imagine Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but could not stand up.
What do you call Juice WRLD in a coffin?
A juice box...
A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a Scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about, making a horrible sound. The bartender says, "Hey, looks like he can't play that!" and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones.
What's black, gold, and red all over?
Tupac in Vegas.
Why did Beethoven have trouble finding a music teacher? Because his teacher was Haydn.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
Why did Michael Jackson rush to H&M?
They had new Billie Jeans!
The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.
Why was Michael Jackson fired as a guitar teacher?
Because he fingered a minor.
Roses are red, violets are blue, my heart is dead, I'm such a fool. -Juice Wrld
What's long and not very hairy?
The conga line at the cancer department.
What's white and comes in little cans?
Michael Jackson.