What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
Q. What makes music on your hair?
A. A headband!
"Why did the band teacher get arrested?"
"For fingering a minor." Ahaha, so funny!
Emos are dark people....
...So why are they all white?
Goths are even darker...
SO WHY ARE THEY WHITER!?
Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.
What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)
Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.
I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!
Did you hear about the gay choirboy?
He choked on his first hymn.
"Yes, officer! It was a requirement to run over that child. It matched perfectly with the beat drop!"
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he had no BODY to go with.
Bill Clinton is no longer playing the saxophone.
He is now playing the whore-monica.
I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite poker hand?
Jacks and 5.
What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?
Van Halen's "Jump."
What is the day parents stopped fearing for their little boys? June 25, dead pedo day.
What concert only costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Travis Scott have in common?
Eight dead people.
What’s someone with AIDS' favorite Taylor Swift song?
"Baby, now we got bad blood."
