Music jokes
What concert only costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
What do you call Dr. Disrespect on top of a building?
Diddler on the Roof.
What's the difference between Wacko Jacko and Elvis Presley?
14 number 1 hits.
Imagine Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but could not stand up.
What do you call Juice WRLD in a coffin?
A juice box...
A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a Scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about, making a horrible sound. The bartender says, "Hey, looks like he can't play that!" and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones.
What's black, gold, and red all over?
Tupac in Vegas.
Why did Beethoven have trouble finding a music teacher? Because his teacher was Haydn.
Why did Michael Jackson rush to H&M?
They had new Billie Jeans!
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They're both turned on by kids.
Why was Michael Jackson fired as a guitar teacher?
Because he fingered a minor.
The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.
What's white and comes in little cans?
Michael Jackson.
Roses are red, violets are blue, my heart is dead, I'm such a fool. -Juice Wrld
What's long and not very hairy?
The conga line at the cancer department.
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument? The exylo-bone!
What song does Saturn sing?
"If you like it then you should have put a ring on it."
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.