Music jokes

I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.

So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

Why can't Stephen Hawking be the real Slim Shady?

Because he can't stand up, can't stand up.

Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?

Because every time it was sung... the line “fire away” caused massive confusion and shooting!

"Rapeboat" makes Elton John seem straight.

Why did the rapper climb a ladder during his performance?

He wanted to take his career to the NEXT LEVEL!

I made a song about a tortilla. Well, it's more of a wrap.

What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?

Eminem-o the Great.

What's a rapper's favorite insect?

Rhy-mosquito.

I was listening to some Drake in class.

My teacher shouted to turn it off. She then exclaimed that "Drake is mid and his music is very Pessi!" I didn’t understand the meaning until I checked the dictionary and realised it is a synonym for overrated.

Why does an orphan like The Beatles? Because it's family friendly.

Why was the rapper bad at fishing?

Because he always threw back the lines!

What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

What about the glue?

I knew you'd get stuck there.

Why did the rapper become a gardener?

Because he wanted to drop some FRESH SEEDS.

I wish my grass was emo because then it would cut itself.

Did you hear about the cello player who dreamed he was performing Bolero?

He woke up and found out it was true.

When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...

If you take off the first and last letter of "demon," they're gonna turn emo.

Why was the rapper bad at baseball?

Because he always dropped the MIC instead of the BAT.

What's a rapper's favorite drink?

RHYME-A-RITA