Music jokes
A cow's favorite singer: Adam Bovine of Mooroon 5.
If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet.
So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)
Why don't skeletons play music at the church?
Because they don't have any organs.
A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."
What did Thanos say when he snapped his finger? Another one bites the dust.
What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.
Despacito.
My son asked me to stop singing Oasis songs in public. I said maybe.
Don't you just want to go on a mass murder while listening to goodbye Moonman? Oh, just me... OK.
Why is the Nazi Anthem banned in Germany? Because Horst Wessel lied.
What is a pedophile's favorite song?
Jerking off in A minor.
What is a priest's favorite song?
-- Magic Flute in A minor.
What place is Flo Rida from? Florida.
My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I'll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
What is a necrophiliac's favorite band?
Coldplay.
Where does a pianist go on vacation?
The Florida Keys.
How do you make a tissue dance?
You give it a little boogie.
What do emos and apples have in common?
They both hang on trees.
What do you call Mexicans in a band trying to be a white band?
"Juan Direction."