Mum jokes
Why did the octopus cry?
Because his mum said he looked like Johnny Depp.
African Kid: "Mom, can we have water?"
Mom: "Sure, it's in the house."
African Kid: *Goes to the fridge and opens the door searching for cold water*
The fridge: ERROR 404 Water Not Found
Your mum is so fat, she gets hit by a parked car!
Yo mama is soooooo fat that she was arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack!
My new stepfather told me that I'm his new son, so I said okay.
My stepfather said that my and your mom have a few things in common. I said, "Yeah, like what?" My stepfather said, "Well, you came out of your mother's pussy; I eat your mother's pussy. You used to suck on your mother's tits; now I suck on your mother's tits. Your mother used to smack you in the ass when you act up; now I smack your mom in the ass now. Your mother calls me daddy; now I am your new daddy."
When your mum tells you to help your granny And you in plug life support.
Your momma is so fat, the whole Earth falls down to 100,000,000 ft.
Yo momma so gay, she watched straight porn because gay porn was boring because she is gay!
Me and my mom order Chinese food.
My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."
Why can’t orphans have a horse?
Because they run away like their mum did.
I go balls deep in your mum with no power.
Stinking poo poo bum.
Joke of the day: Your mum is so fat I saw her at Greg’s! 😭🤣
Who is your mum?
An emo.
Why didn't the bitch ass skeleton fly?
'Cause me mum flew all the way and Trevor is a boofahead.
How to tell your kid is adopted? Hi Daisy, let's play a game called "You're adopted!" I will start: Your mum died so I had to adopt you, but don't think I love you because you were the only kid there, haha!
Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?
Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.
Your mum is so stupid, she tried to take the crown off a "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster so that she could become the new queen of England.
I fucked your mum!
Your mama is so fat that all restaurants say, "Maximum weight 240KG or your mum!"
Ur mum gay, lul.