Mum

Mum Jokes

My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.

I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."

After having a win at bingo Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea..... During the meal her daughter asked her mum what it was to which she replied with a little smile...'Its what I call your father'... Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin 'Oh My God Dont eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!

Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?

Mum: See the four birds over there?

Kid: Huh, wait a minute.

Mum: A drunk person would see eight.

Kid: Mum, but there is only two.

Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.

Dad: Well, how do you know?

Son: I found the adoption papers.

Dad: That is for your mum.

If you know, you know.

Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!

hondos dad and mum went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a hondo hondos dad and mum went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a hondo hondos dad and mum went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a hondo hondos dad and mum went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a hondo