Mum

Mum Jokes

My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.

I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."

Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"

After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.

During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."

Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"

Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?

Mum: See the four birds over there?

Kid: Huh, wait a minute.

Mum: A drunk person would see eight.

Kid: Mum, but there is only two.

Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.

Dad: Well, how do you know?

Son: I found the adoption papers.

Dad: That is for your mum.

If you know, you know.

Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!

hondos dad and mum went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a hondo hondos dad and mum went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a hondo hondos dad and mum went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a hondo hondos dad and mum went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a hondo