Mum Jokes

My Mum texted me she had lost her phone

where do you find a orphan just look for your mum.

why does blake like lakes cause of cake

The teacher asked a young boy in primary school "Can you tell me the alphabet?"

To which the boy replies "No"

The teacher then sets his homework to learn the alphabet.

At home, the boy goes up to his mum, who is on the phone, and asks "Can you tell me the alphabet?"

"Shut up" she replied

The boy goes to his dad, who just won the footie match, and asks "Can you teach me the alphabet?"

But the dad is too busy celebrating and shouting "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"

The boy goes to his big brother and asks him to teach him the alphabet.

But his brother is singing "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"

The boy goes to his sister and asks her for the alphabet.

But his sister is singing "In my big red car, in my big red car!"

The next day the teacher asks him the alphabet.

The boy replies "Shut up."

"Alright, I'm sending you to the principal's office right now."

The boy replies "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"

In the office, the principal says "who do you think you are?"

The boy replies "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"

The principal now says "how do you think you'll get away with this?"

The boy them replies "In my big red car, in my big red car!"

Your mum is so smart but she still can’t figure why she had you

I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics and she said i had to eat more vegetables

Why is it so easy to bully an orphan. What are they gonna do tell there mum

Raaj went up to his mom and said, "I bet you 10 dollars I can disappear." Then he turned off the lights.

Little johnnys teacher asks him "Johnny ,do you pray before you eat?" little johnny says "I dont need to, my mum makes good food.

Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?" His mother replies "to make myself beautiful Johnny." A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her "What is the matter? Are you giving up?"

Mum: if your friend jumped of a cliff would you Me: oh yeah no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first

Kid: Mum how do you know someone is drunk? Mum: See the four birds over there Kid: huh, wait a minute. Mum: A drunk person would see eight. Kid: Mum but there is only two.

I was digging a hole in the garden untill i found some coins! I was about to tell my mum when I remembered i was digging a hole in the garden.

MY mum once told me how do u spell mississippi and i said misisipi but she said no its goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i and i luaghed when she said pp,then she said why are you laughing i tried saying u said pp but i was laughing to hard

That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mothers day card for his mum. The second he saw it he burst out crying...