Mum jokes

Orphan: What are you doing tonight?

Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.

Mum finds out child cheats in math test.

Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."

Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"

Your mum is so ugly she could make an onion cry.

Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.

Your mum is a Rune Giant.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

Your mum's so fat, she broke Britain too!

“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.

I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”

Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it cracked.

Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.

Your mum is so fat, flat earthers think she's round!

Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.

I am in trouble. My mum asked me to get six cans of Sprite.

But I got seven Up.

What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?

"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."

I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.

An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."

A homeless kid once said he will go home.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

UR MUM!

You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."

Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?

Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.

Mom: Excuse me?

Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?

I don’t know and I don’t care.

This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum. Joke's on him, I have two dads.

Today is the day of 9/11, and we were in class making jokes, and somebody said, "That's sad." I was like, "Why?" And they said, "Today is the day the towers went down." I said, "Just like I did on your mum last night."

My mum told me to take out the trash, but I couldn’t find you.