Mum jokes
Your mum's so fat, she fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck going down.
Your mum is so ugly she made Paul Walker run.
What does the M and D in "orphan" stand for?
"Mum" and "Dad."
When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."
What did the orphan's mum say before she abandoned her child?
OH it's a bitch.
Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.
Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.
Your mum is so fat, she gets hit by a parked car!
SOOOO my sister said her first bad word yesterday. "Shit." My mum was like, "What did you just say, child?"
Sister: "I said the cat shits inside like the dog shi- uh oh......"
Now I've avoided this stuff by making my own word: Sugarplum. Sugarplum = shit...
My sister made some pie, and it tasted horribly... so I said this.... "This pie is very sugarplum-y." She said, "What do you mean by that?" I said, "It tastes like sugarplums..."
Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.
Ur mum gay.
Your mum's so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.
Your mum stinks of disabled people.
Wanna know why?
I don't know either, you tell me.
Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.
Your mum is so fat, I had to take 2 buses and a train to get to her good side.
Why can’t orphans have a horse?
Because they run away like their mum did.
What's thick, 12 inches, and in your mum's throat?
My penis.
Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?
Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
Your mum is like a Golden Knight. She will still attack my tower with troops in the way, like Jude Porter.