Mum jokes
Your mum is so ugly, she tried to join an ugly competition. They said, "Sorry, no professionals."
While I was waiting for your mum to waddle past, I missed a whole season of my TV show!
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
What's full of lard and is reserved as Putin's cannon fodder?
Your mum!!!
Little off topic but...
Mum: You wouldn't be here without me.
Son: And my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory.
Mum: Fair point.
Your mum is so fat, when she was in front of my apartment, I couldn't get in.
My mum is a vegan. She brings us to after school seitan.
When your mum went to the UK and wore a yellow jacket, everyone started yelling "Taxi! Taxi!"
You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!
Your mum is so fat that she took a spoon to the supercool.
Your mum's so fat, she fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck going down.
I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.
Your mum eats cabbage.
Your mum is so stupid, when she went on your phone it got fat.
Your mum's hairline was so long that you decided to get therapy.
Mum: Why are you throwing a paper plane at the twins?
Me: 😈
Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.
The average Irish person consumes 131.1 litres of beer, almost as much as your mum at night.
My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.
Your mum is stupid, just like you.