Rain

Hello, I’m Bob.

Yo mama so short, when it rains she’s the last to know!

Funeral

Anonymous

Your at a funeral your mum says be quiet so you snigger at the body and say by forever bitch

Sister

Anonymous

I was walking down the streets with my parents and my sister, my mum said "step on a crack break your mother’s back" I stepped on a crack, my sister has been in the hospital ever since

Friend

Smoke weed

My mum touch my friend but she wasn’t the she’s only 12

Dad

Anonymous

I walk on on my mum and she’s in the middle of pulling off my dad’s boxers. I said mum, you really spoil those dogs!

Orphan

Anonymous

why did the orphan didnt do the work because when the teacher says they would call your mum or dad there nobody to call

Depression

Anonymous

The doctor asking why Ive broken 19 bones in the past week

My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!

well what am i gonna do now…

Similarity

Crackpot69

What’s so similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the sperm inside her. There both thinking “oh shit my mum is gonna kill me”!

Offensive

Elsa

What is a queef? Something ur mum did in bed last night 😩😩😩🍑🍑🍑🌬️🌬️🌬️🌪️🌪️🌪️

Orphan

Anonymous

why does my mum eat carrots?

Guy

Anonymous

Guys tell me that I have a MILF for a mom. So I told my mom that guys tell me that she a MILF. My mom said to me what is a MILF so I said Mother I’d Like TO F-ck. So my mom started to laugh and said well you do new a new step dad.

Period

Anonymous

Daughter: So, I got my period. Mom: That’s wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying! Daughter: That’s nice, Mum, but isn’t the whole point of getting your period dying? Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to the another day. Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically) Mom: You’re welcome, honey. (Clueless. Obviously.)

Orphan

Kinda sus

What did the orphans mum say before she abandoned her child? OH it’s a b#tch

Die

Anonymous

Hey mum why do people keep suddenly dying in our family? Mum? Mum? Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

0

Yo mama

Anonymous

Your mum is so fat Les Dawson would agree with me that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it.

0

Guy

Anonymous321

I went home one day. My mom said look what a few guys got me. It was a MILF trophy. My mom ask what does that mean. So I said Mom’s I’d Like To Fuck. Then my mom said these guy want to fuck me. I said yeah. Then my mom said I still got it.

Milk

Kamikaze

bruh ppl always makin jokes bout how their dad left, well in my story it was the mum that needed milk

Orphan

ur mum

ur mum gay

Woman

Anonymous

When a man sleeps with a lot of women he’s called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she’s called your mum.

Clap

Anonymous

What is the definition of clapped? Ur mum when i am in her bed