Morbid jokes
I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.
We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.
I heard that my crush got kicked in the balls and when I thought of it...
I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;
What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧
A man wakes up in the hospital and says, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
"Of course," the doctor says. "I amputated your arms."
So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?
What's harder than steel?
Michel Jackson in an orphanage.
Quiet kid: "I'm home!"
Parents: "What did you learn at school today?"
Quiet kid: "I've learned that I've had enough!"
what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?
dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.
morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.
Why do people want emo grass? Because it'll cut itself.
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
Why did mommy disappear? The dad: Well, when she crossed the road to get to the chicken, she only made it halfway.
What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.
God creating bees.
God: "Put a needle on their butt."
Angel: "Come on, God, wha-"
God: "Make its puke delicious."
Angel: "WTF"
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoes?
White vans.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5-year-old's face.
The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"
The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"
The school shooter: "I don't know."
The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."
I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.
What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?
Ask Boeing.
you.
When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.
“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”