Morbid jokes
I heard that my crush got kicked in the balls and when I thought of it...
I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;
What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧
A man wakes up in the hospital and says, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
"Of course," the doctor says. "I amputated your arms."
So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?
Everyone's had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.
What's harder than steel?
Michel Jackson in an orphanage.
Quiet kid: "I'm home!"
Parents: "What did you learn at school today?"
Quiet kid: "I've learned that I've had enough!"
what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?
dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.
morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.
Why do people want emo grass? Because it'll cut itself.
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
Why did mommy disappear? The dad: Well, when she crossed the road to get to the chicken, she only made it halfway.
What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.
God creating bees.
God: "Put a needle on their butt."
Angel: "Come on, God, wha-"
God: "Make its puke delicious."
Angel: "WTF"
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoes?
White vans.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5-year-old's face.
I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.
The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"
The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"
The school shooter: "I don't know."
The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."
What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?
Ask Boeing.
you.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.