Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike, there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, i’m stuck here holding my rod
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either really terrible news or really great news.
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church and the Priest says “what about the children” the rabbi says “f... the children” and the Priest says "do you think we’ll have time
I saw an Isis video and I got the theme stuck in my head. I was humming it the next day at work when my Arab co-worker said, “soon, my brother.”
How did Helen keller’s mom punish her? She put her in a circular room and told her to find the corner.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide, the librarian responds with ”f... off you won’t bring it back!”