Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.

What’s the difference between a black & a white fairy tail? White begins, “Once upon a time…” Black begins, " Yall mutherf...ers aint gonna believe dis shit"

Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering a minor.

Would you like to try African food??

They would too.

Someone told me that you can let out all your anger by writing letters about everyone you hate and then burning them…

But I was just wondering… should I keep the letters?

Mama Mia’s pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce.

Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere

Surveys say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. That means the 5th one likes it.

I go into get a prostate exam, I’m nervous but the doctor says its all natural and needs to be done.

So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside , feeling for abnormalities.

That’s when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.

Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone?

He got hit by a bus.

Cremation, The last chance for a smoking hot body.

Woman: Doctor, where are we going? Doctor: To the morgue. Woman: I’m not dead yet, doctor. Doctor: We’re not at morgue yet, either

Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”

I made a website for orphans, unfortunately it doesn’t have a homepage.

What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person

You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message

Titanic: “And I’m nominating everyone on board for the Ice Bucket challenge!”

Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except Abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.

I opened a company selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof

My memes are ironic but my depression is chronic.

I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and and everything was half off. I didn’t know back to school sales had started already

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