Morbid jokes

Amanda Bynes is a lush blond who has quickly become a blond lush.

Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"

Where did daddy cum in the bed?...

Everywhere!

How do you know if an Asian has been in your house?

Your dog's gone.

Your finances are done.

And your floaties.

At the back of Abraham Lincoln's mind, next to the bullet hole, he was thinking about how slavery is wrong.

Me starts a cult just for fun... Just for fun!

Why do my parents not love me? Because I've fucked 12 dogs and 7 minors while they were watching!

My wife left me yesterday.

I haven't talked to the kids in a year.

I find this website. I see this person named Gwen. I simp for her, but just for a troll. Next thing I know, we're somehow dating? Then her ex comes in and dates her again. Apparently, he is gay, and I'm pretty sure Gwen could be a boy, but he or she has 3 friends who always back her up, just to let y'all know this isn't really supposed to be a dating app or drama app, it's a joke app, and this isn't really a joke. But one last thing, you guys are all b*tches...

Don't make Iran jokes. My mom died by a rocket launcher. She was the best sharp shooter in the Iranian army.

Why don’t you peel a banana?

It’s too hard to kill your nana.

What's the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead children?

My penis.

What’s the most common name for cancer patients?

Luke (leukemia)

What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?

They're both crazy and now dead.

How many babies does it take to make dinner?

Three to four; there's not a lot of meat on them.

If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orphan, what are they gonna do... tell their parents?

What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?

I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.

Solve this equation: a gay boy + a whole lot of drugs = A hyped up f'ing machine.

What is the best part of twenty-one year olds?

There's twenty of them.

What did the dinosaur eat when the dentist fixed his tooth?

The dentist!