Morbid jokes

Morbid jokes

Wife

My wife left me yesterday.

I haven't talked to the kids in a year.

Website

I find this website. I see this person named Gwen. I simp for her, but just for a troll. Next thing I know, we're somehow dating? Then her ex comes in and dates her again. Apparently, he is gay, and I'm pretty sure Gwen could be a boy, but he or she has 3 friends who always back her up, just to let y'all know this isn't really supposed to be a dating app or drama app, it's a joke app, and this isn't really a joke. But one last thing, you guys are all b*tches...

Mom

Don't make Iran jokes. My mom died by a rocket launcher. She was the best sharp shooter in the Iranian army.

Child

What's the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead children?

My penis.

Name

What’s the most common name for cancer patients?

Luke (leukemia)

Child

What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?

They're both crazy and now dead.

Baby

How many babies does it take to make dinner?

Three to four; there's not a lot of meat on them.

Orphan

If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orphan, what are they gonna do... tell their parents?

Drug

Solve this equation: a gay boy + a whole lot of drugs = A hyped up f'ing machine.

Sandwich

What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?

I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.

Part

What is the best part of twenty-one year olds?

There's twenty of them.

Cookbook

I had to run out of the library because I put the cookbooks in the women's sports section.