Morbid jokes
What do you call a boy in your mom?
Your dad.
I will always remember my dad's last words...
Oh wait, I never knew them.
What should I write a joke about? Name the subject, and I’ll make a joke about it.
My wife told me to hang her the salt, so I beat the shit out of her. My name's Kyle, by the way.
What does a French woman say when you ask her what her favorite video game is? "Oui, oui!"
A mom and her two children were eating at a place while playing trivia when she asked what does AIDS stand for? Her son Dallyn has no idea, but her daughter Emberlee, who has always been a little odd, says, "An Intentional Disease." Her brother and mom just stared!
The world's funniest joke? Your life.
How do you clean ash off a stove with chemicals?
Men, get into the kitchen and make me a sandwich!
Women, go chop some lumber!
White people, get back into the cotton fields!
What do you call a person with one arm, one leg, one eye, and one ear?
ONESY.
“Hey dad, how do you kill a star?” - Give them drugs.
Hitler walked so Kim can run.
When I was younger, I thought that it was cool to use knives because kids used to ask me to use them.
By the way, have you seen my sister?
Roses are red.
Roses are red.
Roses are red.
I smell burnt toast.
What happens when someone shoots the Hulk?
He got gangryeen.
Gangrene+green+angry
A man gets arrested after writing "MORBID JOKES COMING OUT THIS TIME NEXT YEAR!" and "I'm gay!"
I saw a petition on replacing gravestones with trees so it will be a beautiful forest.
Son: Where's grandma?
Guy 1: What's your favorite vegetable?
Guy 2: Stephen Hawking.
"Hippoty hoppity, women are property."
What's the POINT in stabbing people?
HAHAHA
Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"