Come on guys, please let's play Roblox. My name is xX_robloxGamer420Po_Xx.
What did the south tower say to the north tower? It said: nothing.
9/11 joke.
What job do you want if you don't want people's twos since?
A Catholic priest.
Hippity hoppity, women are property!
My son always said he wanted to skydive, so we went on a plane, and mid-flight, we had to jump out. The only issue is we were on a commercial flight to Arizona.
Poopies in my undies.
When my friend says I suck at something, I'm like, "U swallow."
Baby > commits start breathing.
Mom > commits abort.
Baby > commits ohshit.exe
I am cool.
Hahahahahahaha!
What did the pedophile say to the kids?
"FUCK!"
Loser.
Why do I call my dog a vibrator?
Because every time my dog acts like a dildo, I beat him, and when I beat him, he shakes. What do you call a shaking dildo? A vibrator, therefore I call my dog a vibrator.
My mom gave me a golden shovel and a hoe. I said, "Why do I need this?" She said, "That you every year."
An assassin is about to shoot his target, "I'm about to give you the JFK experience."
an irishman walks into a pub
What's the difference between a mother and a pigeon?
One doesn't eat their husband out.
Bowser ordered his Goomba guards to arrest me because I wrote graffiti on the walls saying "The Koopalings are evil!" "Kill the Koopalings!" and "Down with the Koopalings!"
Tech administrator of a school: Hm, a message from Google security?
Tech administrator of a school: OH SHIT!
Assistant: WHAT, WHAT, TELL ME?
Tech administrator of a school: WE'VE BEEN COMPROMISED, WE FORGOT TO SECURE THE SITE!
Assistant: OK, OK, THE KEY IS NOT TO PANIC... let's call the school board.
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
Head of school board: HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one, almost as good as the one with Jack, Jill, and the ripped condom! HAHAHAHAHAHA
Tech administrator of a school: HAHAHA yeah I know right *whispers* you are playing it cool, right?
Head of school board: *whispers* yeah we're fucked...
TWO HOURS LATER
Important fat people in one room: OH FUCK OH NO, HELP PLEASE!!!!! WAIT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PARENTS ABOUT THEIR STOLEN INFORMATION!!!
AND SO THAT WAS THE BIRTH OF RIOTING TEACHER
What do you call an Indian lesbian? Minge-eater.
So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,
"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."
