Morbid jokes
My Japanese friend told me a Pearl Harbor joke. I told him he bombed it.
How do you get 100 dead babies into a tub? Put them in the blender.
How do you get them out of the tub? Give mexicans tortilla chips and tell them theres salsa in the tub.
There once was a commie called Ed. Usually known as Ned. He went to bed, Got shot in the head, Unfortunately now he was dead.
The person I hate: Omg, my mom and dad just died.
Me: Omg, I am so sorry, don't worry.
The person I hate: I have a boyfriend.
Me: Well, I have a mom and dad.
The person I hate: Rood.
Me: Shut up.
The undertaker's famous saying is "Rest In Peace" to all of his opponents, but really they don't rest in peace. The only peace they get is from God.
Why did God create women with pussies?
Because:
1. Of course, God is a man.
2. Of course, he isn't gay.
3. Of course, he is a perv too (for wanting more pussies)!
Today I explain what things are fake: serial killers, clowns, Billy, fairies, your life, God, Jesus, your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.
I'm also gonna explain real stuff: YouTube, your dad, scientists, teachers, God, Jesus, and Billy.
Stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake. A lot of idiots will read this.
How did Stephen Hawking get up the stairway to heaven?
A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.
Why did lil Timmy drop his lollies?
He was hit by a train.
Poopies in my undies.
A black man entered a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.
The bartender says, "That looks exotic, where’d you get it?"
"Africa," the parrot responded.
What does a French woman say when you ask her what her favorite video game is? "Oui, oui!"
What do you call a gay person in Antarctica?
Bi-Polar.
God.
I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.
What is the best part of twenty-one year olds?
There's twenty of them.
Hippity hoppity, women are property!
What's the POINT in stabbing people?
HAHAHA
What's the difference between an American police man and a Christian?
At least a Christian kneels in church.