Morbid jokes
Why did Michael Jackson name his kid Blanket?
What would you call a cover for your cock?
What's the square root of your dead?
9/11.
Why does shit come out your asshole? Cause fuck you, that's why.
"I put the tin foil in the microwave, ma!"
Best friend *holds a sign up that says "what gender are you?"*
Me: Uh, male?..
Best friend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"*
Me: You silly goose.
*Silence for like three seconds*
Me: Still male though-
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun...
Why did Jack throw his alarm clock out the window?
Because it reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man who was accused of knife-raping his wife.
Me: Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Why don't churches have WiFi?
Friend: Why?
Me: They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
I love going to Hooters and looking at the menu... If you know what I mean;)
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
A person had a child named Bl, another named Es, and one named S. The next was named You. They were a very unholy family.
Their children were shamed upon because their names spell out "Bless you."
Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"
Why was the broom late? Because it had overslept.
"Why do people call Americans excessive?"
"It was probably because of WWII."
"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"
How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they can't change anything.
You do not spell "computer" like this; you spell it like this: "cumputer."
So my best friend’s boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.
So I told her a ‘single’ joke. Then she said, "Go and f***ing die, you insensitive bitch!"
I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF I will break his body for you. Happy now?"
She said, "Sniff, yes."
Subscribe to Cboystv, or I will eat you like Asians do to pets.
Why did half of the world go to hell?
Because they were laughing at morbid jokes.
(You've been warned!)
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.