Morbid jokes
People need to stop taking life so seriously. After all, no one gets out alive!
My dad died lol.
I like my women how I like my cigars: 7 years old and coming from Cuban in a burlap sack.
My boyfriend recently asked me to suck his cock. I was kinda nervous because I’ve never tasted a dick, but he said it doesn’t taste that bad, so I’ll give it a shot.
If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
Going in a military.
The last thing I heard from them is: "Goodbye!"
Fuck you, biiiiiitch!
What's that useless skin around the vagina and the boobies?
The women.
"Jasmine is gay, now THAT is a joke."
Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?
A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.
Why do I call my dog a vibrator?
Because every time my dog acts like a dildo, I beat him, and when I beat him, he shakes. What do you call a shaking dildo? A vibrator, therefore I call my dog a vibrator.
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
Welcome to codi's pizzeria and abortion clinic; your loss is our sauce!
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Wow, hairy!"
What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?
They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.
"Mine is 3 inches."
"That's not very lo..."
"From the ground."
A chopper full of white people is also called a helicopter.
A chopper full of black people is called a hellacopter.
What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl? A blender. What's the best way to get them out? A blender.
I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"
What's more fun than nailing a baby to the floor?
Ripping it off with a kick!