Morbid jokes
I could never forget my grandfather's last words. "Stop shaking the ladd-"
Ashes to ashes, priests prefer boys, 'cause they don't have to shave their asses.
when the sus.
I was just sitting down when all of a sudden she screamed, "Help!"
If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.
Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.
My mom gave me a box of chocolates, and she said life is like a box of chocolates, but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.
Help me...
My favorite website.
What type of bees give milk?
Boob-bees.
Watching "50 Shades of Grey" was more painful than my uncle fisting me as a kid.
Did you hear about Hellen Keller falling down the well?
She screamed her little fingers off.
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?
To get them in his van.
How are a gay guy and a refrigerator different?
When you pull the meat out of the refrigerator, it doesn’t fart.
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
How do you keep a blind kid entertained?
You take him to a stadium crowd, then give him a bat and tell him to hit the piñata.
What do you call your sister who only has one leg?
Ei-lean.
Said the man angered to his wife:
"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"
Me: Hi, my name is...
Bro: Hey guys! So who are you?
Me: Hey, stop dude!
Bro: How is it going, bro--
Me: SHUT UP!
Bro: Is that a gun?
Me: *Pointing at bro*
Bro: Dude, I'm...
Me: *BANG* *BANG*
Me: Finally, it's over.
99% of Roblox usernames be like: bdiejfbsie3hdiejdbisie882jeoxnd, by yYidgJyeuzyei73*-;ujduzjehzisjd, and j73heisbdjJd3nakwnwo2jdieneidjd.
It ain't always having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.