Morbid jokes
How do you fit three flags on a bar stool?
Flip it over!
Why couldn't the penguin cross the road?
It was ran over. 🐧
Baby > commits start breathing.
Mom > commits abort.
Baby > commits ohshit.exe
What would good be if it was a place?
It would be a desert because it had too many droughts!
Jack and Jill went up the hill for drunkin' wild sex.
Jack went by Jill to get a lick, and watched Jill get off on a stick.
In Mario, it is called a Zoomba, but if it was real, it would be a boomba.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to start to build the still for Jill.
Jack stopped and said to drunkin' Jill, "To build this still will take so long."
Jill said to Jack, "Well, f--k the still and kiss my ass, and watch me take another pill!"
I bought an anti-bullying wristband. I say I bought it; I stole it off a fat ginger kid.
How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they can't change anything.
What's the good thing about fucking 21 year olds?
There's twenty of them!
When my friend says I suck at something, I'm like, "U swallow."
What is it called if your mom does not make it to your birth?...
An abortion.
Why does shit come out your asshole? Cause fuck you, that's why.
A man and a boy are walking into a forest. It begins to get dark. The boy says "Mister, I'm scared." The man replies "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."
Adopted kid: I made a big mistake!
Dad: You are one.
What do you call a modern-day plague doctor? A COVID doctor.
I have WWII in my blood since my great-grandfather killed Hitler.
qestrrrr.
Me, myself, and I.
Wanna hear a funny joke?
My life.