A man had moved to a new contry with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there telling he wanted his dog to be groomed. The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours" so the man left and came back a couple hours later when he asked about his dog he was given a box of jerky he found out "happy dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.
One of the most popular documentaries of the 2010’s was ‘Jiro Dreams of Sushi’.
One of the least popular documentaries was ‘Jiro’s Nightmare of Ass-Rape’.
what’s the difference between grandma getting ran over by a reindeer,and a poor kids parents getting ran over by military tractors?When grandma got ran over by a reindeer,the kids actually gave a shit.
bruh ppl always makin jokes bout how their dad left, well in my story it was the mum that needed milk
A 98 year old man goes to bed on a one layer bed- He wakes up under it...
I saw a person raping a woman in an alleyway,i decided to help...she doesn't stand a chance between us.
So three daughters were sitting in the same room as their mother, the first daughter asked why she was named Daisy. So the mother replies “Because when we were taking you out of the hospital, a daisy landed on your forehead.” The second daughter asked why she was named Rose. So the mother explained “Same as Daisy, when you we were taking you out of the hospital, a rose petal landed on your forehead.” The third daughter then said “ksvrjxbdkavdowbxksb” so the mother said “Shut Up Brick!”
There's a white guys, black guy, and Santa clause. They get a hotel room. White guy goes in room first and sees money on the table and he picks it up. A ghost appears and say put down my money or ill cut off your weiner. He gets scared and jumps out the window. Black guy goes in the room, sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears and says put down my money or ill cut off you're weiner. He gets scared and jumps out the window. Santa clause goes in the room sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears, put down my money or ill cut off you're weiner. Santa clause looks at the ghost and says I'm the ghost of Christmas past you touch my dick ill kick your ass!!!
My crush: OMG my dog just died!😭😭😭😭😭
Me: Oh my goodness I am so sorry I am here for you!
My crush: I have a boyfriend...🙄
Me: Yeah well I have a dog
How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb
None they just beat the room for it being black
2 people are under the covers. The man says "Quote the Beatles: Cum together!"
Two hunters are in the woods and one falls to the ground. Terrified, he dials 911 and says “Help! I think my friend is dying. What do I do?” The nurse says, “I need you to make sure he’s dead. The hunter replies, “Ok I’ll be right back.” The nurse is startled after hearing a gunshot. The hunter comes back and says “I checked. Now what do I do?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his heart has completely stopped.” She is startled when she hears the sound of a taser. The hunter comes back and says “What’s next?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his brain has completely shut down.” The nurse is once again startled when she hears the sound of a bone being crushed by what seemed to be a hammer. The hunter comes back and asks “Anything else?” The nurse says “Nope. That’s it.”
Junkyard dogs may be mean, but the meanest dogs are the ones guarding concentration camps.
I love me a nice tight pussy. Thats why i'm in big trouble with RSPCA
What’s the hardest part about f...ing toddlers?
My boner
Why did Timmy throw the clock out the window? It reminded him of Arnold Clock the man convicted of knife raping his wife.
I got detention one day, I don’t know why I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist
What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman ? You fix both with a coat hanger.
one day i walk up to a emo kid i realized he had a fresh cut so i grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him i like ya cuts g
If white people turn black when they char what happens to the black ones?🤔