Morbid jokes
What's the first thing that a battered woman does when she gets out of the shelter?
My last if she knows what's good for her.
Why did the frog cross the road?
To show his gang that he had guts.
What's the difference between a submarine and Madeline McCann?
They are both full of seamen and at the bottom of the sea.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A murderer.
A murderer who--
Is cut off by being murdered.
Why did the condom cross the road?
Because he was pissed off.
Joe Biden
Me: Want to hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.
Friend: What's funny about that?
Me: Because the next day they disowned me.
What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?
You looking a little square.
What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?
You don't want your computer to go down on you.
Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms.
What did Sarah get for Christmas? I dunno, she hasn't opened it yet.
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
Shaenaya is single, 16, and looking for a 30 year old man that can pleasure her, huh?
"I’m sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.
Mary had a little lamb.
Key word is had, her dad's favorite meat is a human!
Have you ever been eight before?
You were between 7 and 9.
I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I know he LCD'd them and all, but I have been tripping all day.
I painted my black PS5 white so the controller would run faster.
What's so bad about 9 divided by 11?
What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs?
Names.
Why did the family move away?
Because they lost their son.
John saw a Gay in a wheelchair.
"I didn't know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable!"