Morbid jokes
Joe Biden
Me: Want to hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.
Friend: What's funny about that?
Me: Because the next day they disowned me.
What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?
You looking a little square.
What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?
You don't want your computer to go down on you.
Shaenaya is single, 16, and looking for a 30 year old man that can pleasure her, huh?
Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms.
What did Sarah get for Christmas? I dunno, she hasn't opened it yet.
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
"I’m sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.
Mary had a little lamb.
Key word is had, her dad's favorite meat is a human!
Have you ever been eight before?
You were between 7 and 9.
I painted my black PS5 white so the controller would run faster.
I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I know he LCD'd them and all, but I have been tripping all day.
What's so bad about 9 divided by 11?
What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs?
Names.
Why did the family move away?
Because they lost their son.
John saw a Gay in a wheelchair.
"I didn't know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable!"
Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."
Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."
Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."
Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly girl? The Twin Towers at least got fucked.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Pssh.
What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.
I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......