Morbid jokes

Morbid jokes

Dad

Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.

Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!

Cannibal

What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?

"Can I have a bodybag?"

Anal

Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!

Mind

"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."

~John F. Kennedy

Abuse

Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.

Girl

This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs. 🤣🤣 LOL

Fetus

Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?

Because it wasn't born yesterday.

Orphan

Why can't orphans see all these jokes on this website that we're posting?

'Cause they don't know where the home page is.

Cock

I’ve been told I’ve got a perfect cock. She sure was hard on me when I cut it off, though.

Explorer

Good afternoon. My name is Russell, and I am a wilderness explorer of Tribe 54, Sweat Lodge 12. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?

Violence

There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."

Pen

Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.

Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.

Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.

Life Support

My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍

Life

You know, life as a pufferfish is tough. They get startled, then they get hard.