Morbid jokes
Mom! I think that dad is sleeping.
Mom: No, honey, I killed him.
My doctor called me a "psychopath." How dare he?!? He'll pay for this!
My infant drew on the walls today, but I don’t know how to punish them. So I think I’ll sleep on it.
A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"
The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."
The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.
You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.
How does the dog dance?
He doesn't... he's dead.
How do you make a baby cry?
You run over it with a lawn mower.
After the drive-by, Tupac became known as Pewpac.
Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
KATGOD HERE IS A NEW CHAT BOX!
Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.
Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!
Welcome to David's Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em!
Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.
What do you call a person with cancer?
A ghost with a body.
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs. 🤣🤣 LOL
Good afternoon. My name is Russell, and I am a wilderness explorer of Tribe 54, Sweat Lodge 12. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?
Why can't orphans see all these jokes on this website that we're posting?
'Cause they don't know where the home page is.