How do you make a cat go "woof"? .... douse it in gasoline and set it on fire! "woof!"
Roses are red your mother has said come back again and you'll be dead
I wish my grass was edgy... then it would cut itself...
Whats the difference between a submarine and Madeline McCann? They are both full of seamen and a the bottom of the sea
Jesus and Moses come back to earth. Moses says, let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before. So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before. Jesus quips, close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last. So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him, Moses says, hey it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before.
What do you call a gay threesome?
A Sloppy Joe
A chopper full of white people is also called a helicopter. A chopper full of black people is called a hellacopter.
How can you tell an anti vaccine kid
It's only got 10 hours to live
Why don't cannibals eat clowns? They taste funny.
How can you tell if your sister is on her period ?
Your fathers dick tastes funny
How do you make a baby cry?
You punch it in the face.
Rose's are red my cum is blue I'll wait till your asleep to rape you
A child was walking through the forest when a wolf jumped in front of him. The child saw that the wolf had no leg. He then became a terrorist and caused 9/11.
Don’t you just wanna hang around, like Chester
Q: How many dogs does it take to shingle a roof? A: It depends on how you cut em'
123 bipity bopity 321 women are proberty
Why aren't there any closets in southern churches? Closets have coat hangers.
What's the difference between sand and food??? Africans have plenty of sand.
I say 123 yeah the kids bullied me but they really don't know that my dad has a gun yeah.
Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house? A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.
