Morbid jokes
So a blond and a brunette jumped out of a plane. Who hit the ground first?
The blond because she had to ask for directions.
"Bippidy boppidy boo! Bill Cosby is coming for you!"
Roblox Talent Shows be like:
Host: Next Up is Bob!
Bob: Hi! I'll be singing Pian-
*Buzzing Noises*
Judges: You suck!
Bob: I'm reporting!
*Bob get's kicked from the server*
Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?
A: They drive slow through school zones.
What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.
How do I feed the baby with my pants on?
"Mine is 3 inches."
"That's not very lo..."
"From the ground."
Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?
She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”
What's a man's favorite thing that starts with "m" and ends with "arriage?"
Miscarriage.
"It never gets old."
"Just like a sick kid!"
What starts with "M" and ends in "arrige" and is a man's favorite thing?
Miscarriage, this joke never gets old, just like the baby.
Yo mama so fat, Thanos had to snap twice.
What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victim less!
Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.
The American salute starts with your hand facing flat towards the ground on your head.
The British salute starts with your hand against your head just like the American salute.
The French salute starts with your hands in the air.
The Saudi salute starts with you being bent over with a camel tongue in your ass.
What did Michael Jackson find on his bed?
Billie's Jeans.
One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".
The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."