Morbid jokes
"It never gets old."
"Just like a sick kid!"
What starts with "M" and ends in "arrige" and is a man's favorite thing?
Miscarriage, this joke never gets old, just like the baby.
Yo mama so fat, Thanos had to snap twice.
What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victim less!
Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.
What did Michael Jackson find on his bed?
Billie's Jeans.
The American salute starts with your hand facing flat towards the ground on your head.
The British salute starts with your hand against your head just like the American salute.
The French salute starts with your hands in the air.
The Saudi salute starts with you being bent over with a camel tongue in your ass.
One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".
The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."
Hi, my name isn't Pi.
Look up at the sky and wonder why.
Why are you alive?
My doctor gave me 1 year. So I shot him.
The judge gave me fifteen. Problem solved!
What's yellow and can't swim? My mom on Halloween.
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he’s drinking a magical drink. He asks, “What’s so magical about it?” The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.
The bartender shakes his head and says, “Y’know, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk, Superman.”
Son: Hey Dad, what's an alcoholic?
Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would see 8.
Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.
Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.
If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.
Welcome to codi's pizzeria and abortion clinic; your loss is our sauce!
What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.
I invited my friend with a vasectomy to a party.
Unfortunately, he couldn't come.