Morbid jokes

I'm glad I'm not a pornstar... that would be pretty sucky.

What is a kidnapper’s favorite shoe?

White Vans.

What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?

You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.

That moment when you have to ask your Chinese neighbor if he's seen your cat.

What did the doctor say to the Chinese patient? "Sum ting wong."

What happens when an emo kid loses a Kahoot? He gets a 25 kill streak.

Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral?

While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.

If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Why do gay kids always fail exams ? Becuz they can't think straight

What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?

Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.

My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

Charli tries to roast me: Roses are red, violets are blue, and you look like poo.

Me: You must have been born on the highway because that's where most accidents happen.

Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?

Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.

Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.

Father: Now you know.

Why do I look nervous when I enter the church? Is it just because I'm the only one with the bomb?

If at first you don't succeed, oh well, so much for skydiving.

Why did Billy drop his ice cream?

'Cause he got hit by a bus.

What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.

What do you call a kid with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

Osama Bin Laden is his name.

Crashing planes is his game.