Morbid jokes
Say no to drugs, kids. Suddenly, the poster disappeared. I hallucinated. Must have been the cocaine.
Women.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A bi-racial car wreck.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf....ftysrrtfgbjysou34w45pjr578v
My life, ha ha funny!
If a special ed kid is late to class, is it okay to call me a little tardy?
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.
I'd make 9/11 jokes, but they'd just crash and burn.
Good afternoon. My name is Russell, and I am a wilderness explorer of Tribe 54, Sweat Lodge 12. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
Me: Opens the window to get some fresh air.
Everyone else on the plane: 😟...😱
Teacher: Why did the skeleton know the weather outside?
Student: 'Cause he could feel it in his bones.
Teacher: No, he read the weather report, you fucking idiot.
When the school shooter kills the teacher and the autistic kid declares communism
A student was peeking in on a 10/10 chick, and the guy was about to nut.
The school shooter patted his back and told him to leave his corpses alone.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.
Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."
Why did the old man fall into the well? He couldn't see that well.
What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?
Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.
I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I can't help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.
How are guys and tile floors alike?
If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years.