Morbid jokes

Woman gets pulled over by a cop.

Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"

Lady: "No, officer."

Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"

Lady: "Just water, officer."

Cop: "Looks like wine to me."

Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"

How do you know someone is going to die?

He can't stop coughing. (coffin)

Like if you like school (I mean if you don't)!

A man was taking a child into a dark forest.

The child said, "I'm scared!"

The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."

When Covid spreads through food, but you realized you live in Africa.

There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?

A pentagon!

(9/11 joke)

I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔

What's the difference between oxygen and children? I don't have oxygen in my basement.

Don't you hate it when you do the dishes, but then you realize it wasn't the dishes?

I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.

My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.

So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"

How many children can you fit in a box?

Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.

My friend said I was gay, but then I realised he was talking to the mirror.

"Yes, officer! It was a requirement to run over that child. It matched perfectly with the beat drop!"

So my teacher's daughter committed suicide.

One day I'ma go up to her and say, "What's wrong, did Logan Paul leave your daughter hanging?"

I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.

Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.

I gave Caillou bleach, now he is paler than ever. >:)

If I had 10 dino nuggies and Jamal tried to take one, I would have ten dino nuggies and Jamal's head.

There's 3 things I hate.

1. Jokes

2. Lists

3. Irony.