Morbid jokes
I was eating this girl out the other night, and I tasted horse semen, so I said to her, "Oh, that's how you died, grandma!"
Why are Americans bad chess players?
They lost two towers.
Donald Trump.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss!
A 98 year old man goes to bed on a one layer bed. He wakes up under it...
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Hit your wife harder.
Dick.
What's great about having sex with twenty-eight year olds?
There's ate of them.
9/11.
When I'm sad, I cut myself...A PIECE OF CAKE!
I opened a company selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
Ur mum gay, lul.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"
What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
What did Stevie Wonder's mom do to punish him as a child?
She rearranged all the furniture.
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
Did you hear about Paul Walker's rap?
Wrapped around that tree.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to the top of your ego and jump to your IQ.