Morbid jokes
How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment...
Penis.
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
I was eating this girl out the other night, and I tasted horse semen, so I said to her, "Oh, that's how you died, grandma!"
Why are Americans bad chess players?
They lost two towers.
Donald Trump.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss!
A 98 year old man goes to bed on a one layer bed. He wakes up under it...
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Hit your wife harder.
Dick.
What's great about having sex with twenty-eight year olds?
There's ate of them.
9/11.
When I'm sad, I cut myself...A PIECE OF CAKE!
I opened a company selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
Ur mum gay, lul.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"
What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
What did Stevie Wonder's mom do to punish him as a child?
She rearranged all the furniture.