What's red and screams when you shake it?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Cindy, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
What do you call a midget with autism?
A weetard.
What's the difference between Mexicans and stoners? Stoners actually have papers.
I named my daughter Kennedy so when I talked about how her brain was shot out of her head, people just thought I paid really close attention in history.
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson
Eat my butt.
JFK did a good job spreading around on his final speech.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in the garage.
My friends.
Jesus Christ said my faith can move mountains, so Mohammed said my faith can move skyscrapers.
What red And white and lives in a blender
-a baby
What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
About 140 calories.
What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten!
I was talking to my Welsh friend the other day, and he suddenly started talking Welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke.
Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally!
I sucked a dick.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.
How many babies does it take to make dinner?
Three to four; there's not a lot of meat on them.
