Morbid jokes
God sent gays to fix overpopulation. Until they ended same-sex marriage.
What's good about 9/11? It helped solve the world's overpopulation issue.
I will never forget my Grandpa's last words: "What are you doing with that rope and saw?"
What's long, black and full of seamen? A submarine.
Willies.
Why couldn't the Japanese man give a high five?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
What is sprinkled around the Pokémon floor? Oh right. Ash's ashes.
What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either since 2005.
My credit card is more declined than the love from my dad.
Jesus created the T-pose first.
I found Nemo.
He was tasty.
I am cool.
Hahahahahahaha!
RIP K.
When they have a party, they're racist. When they hang out with Ys, they're mean.
You got a dig bick.
You read that wrong.
You read that wrong too.
Maybe you read that wrong as well.
You just went and back-checked.
You reread all of that.
You have a pet wussy.
You read that wrong...
You need mental help.
Who reads the fastest?
The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers. He took out 83 stories in one go.
EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?"
Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."
"Why do people call Americans excessive?"
"It was probably because of WWII."
"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"
There's a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard: the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, "People need me for my medical skills," grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, "People need me for my intelligence," grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, "I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute." The nerd says, "Don't worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack."