Morbid jokes
Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?
Because it flew over their heads.
I have a pussy. It's very hairy. It has a long thing sticking out of it. It's also very hair. My hairy pussy meows and purrs.
That moment when you have to ask your Chinese neighbor if he's seen your cat.
What's a popular name in China? Curiosity, because curiosity killed the cat.
So my teacher's daughter committed suicide.
One day I'ma go up to her and say, "What's wrong, did Logan Paul leave your daughter hanging?"
I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.
I like my women like I like my coffee: nice, fresh, and dead.
When you see your friend, you call the police, but they just moan.
Your mamma's so ugly, even the toaster wouldn't get in the bathtub with her.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back.
Monkey Man's mortuary, you stab 'em, we slab 'em.
What's white and bloody?
Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.
So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,
"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.
Say this out loud: "Gabe Itch."
Say this out loud: Alpha Kenny One.
I started selling landmines disguised as prayer mats.
Prophets are through the roof!
How do you get a baby into a small bowl?
A blender.
How do you get it out? Tostito chips.
Welcome to codi's pizzeria and abortion clinic; your loss is our sauce!