Morbid jokes

Morbid jokes

Race

  • Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.

    What is the order of finish?

    1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.

    2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.

    3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.

  • 7
  • Cancer

  • Me and my little brother were playing Call Of Duty. He wasn't doing very good, so I told him so. My brother said to me, "At least I don't have to camp in order to get kills." I then responded with, "I would call you cancer, but at least cancer kills."

  • 0
  • Pussy

  • I have a pussy. It's very hairy. It has a long thing sticking out of it. It's also very hair. My hairy pussy meows and purrs.

  • 1
  • Suicide

  • So my teacher's daughter committed suicide.

    One day I'ma go up to her and say, "What's wrong, did Logan Paul leave your daughter hanging?"

  • 5
  • Friend

  • So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,

    "Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."

  • 1
  • Morbid humor

  • What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?

    Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.

  • 3
  • Orphanage

  • Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.

  • 3