Morbid jokes
Boomer.
A suicide bomber's biggest fear is dying alone.
Dwarf Shortage.
What’s the difference between a zit and a catholic priest?
A zit waits till you’re 13 to come on your face
Your Mom tells you to take out the trash, and the next day the Police are asking if you bombed the School.
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.
Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.
Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.
My dad is like my depression, you need a suicide letter to find him.
I wish my dog was depressed so she can cut her own nails.
What do you call a modern-day plague doctor? A COVID doctor.
What do you call a green boner? The Grinch.
How do you get a baby to stop crying?
Simple... you staple its mouth shut.
Today, I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
I pushed a disabled kid in a fire, then called him "hot wheels."
Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.
The police: You finally figured it out.
My wife left me yesterday.
I haven't talked to the kids in a year.
Your reflection.
You know, life as a pufferfish is tough. They get startled, then they get hard.
What is long, brown, and cures depression?
A noose.
What's the difference between a mole and a priest?
One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.
Me: punching a kid.
My FBI agent: You're adopted.