Monster jokes
What has 148 teeth and馃ゴ馃ゴ holding back a monster? My zipper.
If life was like Pacific Rim, I'd say your mom's pussy was a category 5.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Yo mama so ugly that she's the reason monsters hide under the beds.
Do you know how a dragon is? You don't know who? It's dragging these 2-liter balls across your pathetic face and slamming it into a f*cking dumpster you regret.
What is a little zombie's favorite stuffed animal?
It's a deady bear.
My little sister called my name a few minutes after I put her to bed. She told me that there was something in her closet. I checked the closet and told her there was nothing there, but told her she could still sleep in my room with me. I was thinking that was the best way to get her out of the room before he noticed I saw him.
Why is an orphan so scared of the dark?
They don't have a dad to check the closet.
What is a monster's favorite place to swim?
Lake Erie!
Yo mama so ugly that she turned Medusa to stone.
Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.
What do you call my dick?
A. A monster.
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you鈥檝e been feeling lately?
Me: I don鈥檛 care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it.
Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow.
What spooky creature has children?
Mummies.
If Huggy and Kissy ever had a kid, they would have a good lunch. *evil laugh* 馃槇
Q. What do ghosts do when they get hurt?
A. They call an AmBOOlance.
Yo mama is so ugly, they tried to get her to act the part for Godzilla!
Why did nobody believe the little girl who got raped?
She said a monster attacked her.
Mommy, Mommy! Are we werewolves?
Shut up and comb your face.
Why are vampires always sick?
Because they are coffin.