Monster Jokes

What's the difference between an ugly monster and you. nothing

What do me and Monster cans have in common? A barcode.

A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.

why did nobody believe the little girl who got raped?

She said a monster attacked her

What do you call a school bus driver that keeps going to sleep? A monster

What has 148 teeth and🥴🥴 holding back a monster? My zipper.

alirght im gonna drink the lo- carb one to see how it compares to the normal monster. holy shit it tastes just like the original one. theres like a weird afer taste though. kinda like a sparkling water one. i love monster ive drank about 5 cans already

All trucks are monster trucks if you’re afraid of trucks

What do you call a retarded three legged doggo heckin pupper monster? A 1996 dodge neon with a broken tail light cover and 166,748.46 miles on the odometer. It could use a tune up and it needs a new transmission soon. New rear tires and a new radiator. Test drives with cash in hand. HMU motivated seller. Don’t waste my time and no lawballs.

You may not rest, there are monsters nearby”

-Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

Papyrus:You are so lazy sans! Sans:Call me what you want.I got THICK SKIN! Pap:Another bad joke and I'm finished with him!! Frisk:HAHAHA Pap:we are monsters.The awfulest kind! Sans:to mess with us takes a lot of SPINE!!!

Brother 2(1): We have these weird circles on the street! Government is trakin' us!!! Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And its the government. Brother 2(1): Then why are there two in the left turn lane Brother 1: So 1 car isn't always going left and stopping the others. Brother 2(1): Then why are they 1 car apart. Oh to have 3 people going. Brother 1: Correct. When i see 1 car on the first. i go on the 2nd so my light changes. Brother 2(1): You monster. Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight? Brother 2(1):HA. yo mama would trigger the sensor. Brother 1. ARG. its OUR MAMA your disrespecting. Mother (brother 1):whats going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY! Brother 2(1): i think you should take your pills. Brother 1: found them. *imaginary mother and brother fade away* thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him. btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.

All these sea monster jokes are just Kraken me up.

your mum is so fat when she sat in a monster truck it turned into a lowrider

How do you call Doom guy that drinks Monster Zero? Boom guy!

Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her-Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was there mother

Luca’s Mom & Dad Be throwing the kids into the Fountain in the city but there sea monster so if the went to jail for that the would be on death row anyways. 🤣