Monster jokes
A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"
All trucks are monster trucks if you’re afraid of trucks.
I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak, and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.
Why doesn't Voldemort have a human nose?
Because his snake bit it off!
Medusa makes men hard.
Memes
What does a lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
"Same time next month?"
Yo mama so ugly that she turned Medusa to stone.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be a jaeger, will you be my kaiju?
What cheese do monsters eat? Monsterella.
What has 8 heads and no legs? A monster.
I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.
I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.
Why was the Pokemon under your bed? So it can Pikachu.
Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?
Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.
That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.
"You may not rest, there are monsters nearby."
-Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
What do you call a sneaky SCP-096?
The Spy Guy!
Big, ugly, and very weird.
Papyrus: Sans! I heard that a HUMAN has fallen!
Sans: And you gotta bone to pick with 'em?
Papyrus: You are so lazy, Sans!
Sans: Call me what you want. I got THICK SKIN!
Papyrus: Another bad joke and I'm finished with him!!
Frisk: HAHAHA
Papyrus: We are monsters. The awfulest kind!
Sans: To mess with us takes a lot of SPINE!!!
Why can't vampires tell jokes right? All their jokes just SUCK.