Jeffy- Daddy Daddy a monster said it’s gonna poop in your hat
Marvin-I don’t believe that
Jeffy- but he said “Jeffy I’m gonna poop in your Daddy’s hat”
The next morning
Jeffy- Daddy a monster pooped in your hat
*Marvin/Mario looks in his hat*
Marvin- Jeffy I don’t believe you you popped in my hat
LBB- why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys Mummy
His mom- Maybe because your the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou
*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*
Krampus- should’ve been better Little Bear
LLB -help Mummy he’s the Scratchy monster
Shrek- just kidding it’s not Krampus but indeeds Me and Black Donkey instead, and were going to poop on your floor
Duggie- hopefully Marvins doesn’t see us and by the way want some purplish koolaid
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
What time would it be if Godzilla came to school? Time to run!
What has 182 teeth and holds back a monster?
My zipper.
Big, ugly, and very weird.
What do you call a sneaky SCP-096?
The Spy Guy!
You may not rest, there are monsters nearby”
-Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be a jaeger, will you be my kaiju?
Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her-Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was there mother
What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire?
One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.
A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.
What cheese do monsters eat? Monsterella.
What does Godzilla eat for dinner * the dinner *
Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?
Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.
What has 148 teeth and🥴🥴 holding back a monster? My zipper.
Me: *stabs vampire*
Wife: omg
Me: *beats vampire to death*
Wife: OMG
Me: What?
Wife: You're supposed to give them candy!
Me: Well, that's a sticky situation now, isn't it, Barbara?
This isn’t a joke. Quiet kid jokes are so cliché. Like since when was there an original quiet kid joke like smh. Doesn’t help because im a quiet kid and people act as if I’m soo dangerous and it’s like the only thing they say to me. Being judged as some big bad monster for being AN INTROVERT!! These jokes used to be funny to me.. but now I’m just sick of them...
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
