Money jokes
A big hefty porker left his balls exposed and said,
"Misses!! Come here and step upon mine balls, please!!! I pay top dollar for this extreme delight!"
She pippity popped his balls like there was no tomorrow.
And he said "yuh yuh ay ay crush these nuts nuts!"
A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth.
I don't have any now.
A man with 20 dollars walked into Dave & Buster's. He went to the bathroom to wash his hands. He walked out without any clothes but still has his money.
Why don't stags buy drugs? Because they are too deer.
Why did the rapper go broke?
He kept dropping dimes.
Would you steal 20 dollars from a stupid 6 year old kid with Down syndrome who can't talk and make ah ah ah noises, or get one dollar for saying the N word?
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
To make some DOUGH on the side.
Why did the rapper become a mathematician?
To count his STACKS of CASH.
"If you're good at something, never do it for free."
Rapboat's mom charges $5 a blowie.
"BlessedBrian must be a bank loan... because he has NO INTEREST."
What did the rapper say to the ATM?
"Show me the money, or I'll drop a BEAT!"
Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.
Me.
You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.
My wife got mad at me because I took our life savings and brought golden retrievers.
Like, bitch, we can get gold because of these golden retrievers.
What do you call a bank robbery with MrBeast?
A donation team.
My money don't jiggle jiggle, it folds.
I want to see you wiggle wiggle, for sure.
What does Stephen Hawking and a prostitute have in common?
They both charge.
My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.
I don’t have enough money to buy cheese, could you provolone me some money?
Yo momma is like a penny...
Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants!
If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.
P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.