P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.
What does ATM stand for?
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.
😂🤣
Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.
Dude, if you're at the ATM, wouldn't that mean you're buying your own money?
A guy who just got robbed says, "I've been hacked, and the hacker ransomware!"
I'm so poor I have to put my Big Mac burger on layaway.
What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.
If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.
What do you call a rich Chinese child?
"Ching Ching..."
You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.
Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.
Girl: Your card got declined.
Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.
"Hey, hey, Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]
"Just looking for all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]
"How much have you found so far?"
"Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]
How did the guys with Down syndrome split the dinner bill? They all made a down payment.
People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.
When God gives you glory, you give it back.
What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸
cock teaser
"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
Because he/she wanted to be wanted!
There once was a man named Dave who dug up a prostitutes grave, she was as moldy as shit and missing a tit, but think of all the money he saved
When does it rain money?
When there's a change in the weather.
