Money jokes
Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.
I'm so poor I have to put my Big Mac burger on layaway.
What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.
When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"
I’m not calling you a slut, I’m calling you a penny.
Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone’s pants!
Want to save 50% on your Chinese?
Just ask before you pay.
Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?
They hate it when you hand it to them.
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
What do you call a rich Chinese child?
"Ching Ching..."
A guy who just got robbed says, "I've been hacked, and the hacker ransomware!"
The cashier asked if I wanted to give my extra dollar to the poor. I said sure, and I got a Cash App notification for $1.
If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.
When God gives you glory, you give it back.
How did the guys with Down syndrome split the dinner bill? They all made a down payment.
What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸
cock teaser
People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.
"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"
Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.
Girl: Your card got declined.
Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
Because he/she wanted to be wanted!