Money jokes

P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.

What does ATM stand for?

Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.

😂🤣

What makes a raccoon 🦝 very rich?

Its rings!

Dude, if you're at the ATM, wouldn't that mean you're buying your own money?

Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.

I'm so poor I have to put my Big Mac burger on layaway.

What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.

When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"

I’m not calling you a slut, I’m calling you a penny.

Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone’s pants!

Want to save 50% on your Chinese?

Just ask before you pay.

Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?

They hate it when you hand it to them.

Dating 101:

Here's what you do:

1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.

What do you call a rich Chinese child?

"Ching Ching..."

A guy who just got robbed says, "I've been hacked, and the hacker ransomware!"

The cashier asked if I wanted to give my extra dollar to the poor. I said sure, and I got a Cash App notification for $1.

If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.

What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.

Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.

When God gives you glory, you give it back.

How did the guys with Down syndrome split the dinner bill? They all made a down payment.

What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸

cock teaser

People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.