Money jokes
Dude, if you're at the ATM, wouldn't that mean you're buying your own money?
Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.
What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.
I'm so poor I have to put my Big Mac burger on layaway.
When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"
get this one guys
I saw a homeless dude and gave him $1.
I saw a homeless woman and gave her $0.77.
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
Want to save 50% on your Chinese?
Just ask before you pay.
A guy who just got robbed says, "I've been hacked, and the hacker ransomware!"
What do you call a rich Chinese child?
"Ching Ching..."
Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 on a bet?
They bet $100 that they wouldn't crash when they went through the Twin Towers.
The cashier asked if I wanted to give my extra dollar to the poor. I said sure, and I got a Cash App notification for $1.
P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.
What does ATM stand for?
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.
😂🤣
Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?
They hate it when you hand it to them.
If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
Because he/she wanted to be wanted!
"Hey, hey, Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]
"Just looking for all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]
"How much have you found so far?"
"Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]
"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"
People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.
What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸
cock teaser