Momma jokes

I'm going to destroy your momma's [vulgar term] just like I destroyed that Tastykake.

Yo momma's so fat, it takes her 1,000,000 hours on the toilet.

I was listening to my children praying, and my youngest that can speak said to me: "Mama, why is Gramma dead?"

I smiled and told her, "Well, less than 10 years ago when I was 5, your age, my Momma took me into the basement with some hot rando during a party. And 9 months later Shinana was born. One Pedo after another and your 4 siblings were born. The Pedo I met last night told me, 'If your mother's the one making you do this, do what you do best.' I listened and the next day she didn't leave her bed breathing. When the Pedo found out he left me and your soon to be brother."

She replies with, "Make his child support expensive!" Now he has to pay me 2,000 U.S. dollars every month, like the other ones that ran away.

Your momma's so nasty, she sucked your daddy's dick and kissed you good night!

Your momma is so fat, when she gets done having sex she rolls over and smokes a ham.

Shipmate: Captain, there’s an iceberg and we need to steer around it right now!

Captain: My momma didn’t raise no pussy. Either that iceberg is gonna move or I am.

Yo momma so gay, she watched straight porn because gay porn was boring because she is gay!

"Rapeboat" so fat it made yo momma look thin.

Your momma is so fat, the whole Earth falls down to 100,000,000 ft.

So, one day I saw a dog outside, so I played with it. Then I was like, "I’m gonna see its name and where it lives." So I did. Then... its name was Momo. Then I looked to see where it lived. It said "Joe Momma Street."

Yo momma is so dumb that she couldn't even get three words into this joke. Maybe that's why she gave it a thumb's down...

Ya momma is sus.

Yo mama's hairline is so god damn far back even Joe Biden wouldn't sniff it.

Me, Joe Biden: What do you mean *snifff*

Yo momma so delusional, she thought your grandma's Venus flytrap was Audrey II.

Yo momma so fake, even Barbie got jealous of her!

Your momma so fat, when she asked for a water bed, she got a concrete bed.

Yo momma so stupid that someone said, "You're not that wealthy," and she went to a doctor.

Your momma's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the ocean.

Your momma is so fat, when she got in the Pacific, she became the Pacific Ocean.

Your mama's so ugly, she got everything for free.

Your momma's so fat, she farted in bed and blew the covers off.