Momma

Momma Jokes

Yo Momma

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing.

Contest

Yo momma is so ugly, when she tried to join the ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"

Abortion

When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!

Pedo

I was listening to my children praying, and my youngest that can speak said to me: "Mama, why is Gramma dead?"

I smiled and told her, "Well, less than 10 years ago when I was 5, your age, my Momma took me into the basement with some hot rando during a party. And 9 months later Shinana was born. One Pedo after another and your 4 siblings were born. The Pedo I met last night told me, 'If your mother's the one making you do this, do what you do best.' I listened and the next day she didn't leave her bed breathing. When the Pedo found out he left me and your soon to be brother."

She replies with, "Make his child support expensive!" Now he has to pay me 2,000 U.S. dollars every month, like the other ones that ran away.

Food

I'm going to destroy your momma's [vulgar term] just like I destroyed that Tastykake.

Wi-Fi

Your momma is so fat, she doesn't need Wi-Fi, she is already worldwide!

Penny

Yo momma is like a penny...

Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants!

Daddy

Your momma's so nasty, she sucked your daddy's dick and kissed you good night!

Porn

Yo momma so gay, she watched straight porn because gay porn was boring because she is gay!

Sex

Your momma is so fat, when she gets done having sex she rolls over and smokes a ham.

Iceberg

Shipmate: Captain, there’s an iceberg and we need to steer around it right now!

Captain: My momma didn’t raise no pussy. Either that iceberg is gonna move or I am.