Momma

Momma Jokes

So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not) and Michael Jackson's song Billie Jean sounds like my name and so my mom says, as the song is playing, (my name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum. Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)

when your wife gets pregnet and you dont want a kid just come on down to momma mias pizzareia and abortion clinic!

I was listening to my children praying. And my youngest that can speak said to me: "Mama, why is Gramma dead?" I smiled and told her, "Well, less than 10 years ago when I was 5, your age, my Momma took me into the basement with some hot rando during a party. And 9 months later Shinana was born. One Pedo after another and your 4 siblings are born. The Pedo I met last night told me, 'If your mother's the one making you do this, do what you do best.' I listened and the next day she didn't leave her bed breathing. When the Pedo found out he left me and your soon to be brother." She replies with, "Make his child support expensive!" Now he has to pay me 2,000 U.S. dollars every month. Like the other ones that ran away.

Shipmate: captain, there’s an iceberg and we need to steer around it right now! Captain:my momma didn’t raise no pussy. Either that iceberg is gonna move or I am.

So one day I saw a dog outside so I played with it then I was like I’m ganna see it’s name and where it lives so I did then...it’s name was momo then I looked to see where it lived it said joe momma street