Mom jokes
How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
My mom told me we were flying to a building to see my aunt. I wondered, "Are we about to relive 9/11?"
I love my mom.
I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.
Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.
I ate my mom.
Little Johnny woke up at midnight on Christmas Eve to Santa with his pants down on top of his mom. He then said, "Ho ho OH YEAH!!!"
I took the trash to the recycling bin, and two days later, my mom asked me, "Where's your sister?" I said, "In the recycling line to be turned into a bottle."
Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday?
Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day.
Teacher: Why is that your least favorite?
Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive.
Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Your mom is so fat that she made the earth flat.
The only woman to ever tell you that they loved you was your mom. (If she even loved you in the first place.)
Why do orphans not like jokes?
Because they hate your "mom" and "dad" joke because they miss their parents. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
You're so ugly not even your mom thinks you're beautiful.
Why are orphans so sad?
Because every time they swallow, they think... "You should have Mom."
Kid: Mom, do trees poop?
Mom: Yes. That is how we get #2 pencils.
When you were born, your mom said you were out of bounds, so you went flying out of the hospital.
1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?
2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.
3. My foot lasts longer than your life.
My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."
I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.
Your classmate: You're so ugly.
Me: That's what your mom said when she had you and called you a mistake.
My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!