Mom jokes

Your mom went to the ocean, and the whales said, "We are family," even though you are fatter than me.

Your mom said I was ugly. I told her she couldn’t see her belly button because she was so fat. She said, “I thought I was the only one without one!”

Your mom wants to tell you that you're adopted, but you were an orphan.

I see a poor guy. Mini me be like- mama, can I give my spare money to him? 🤗 And my mum says yes, so I give my money and home feeling SO NICE, while MY MOM knows he's going to spend it on DRUGS. We go back tomorrow and then after we go to the same place and then I see him with drugs.

Me- what I think fck what I do 😭.

Like this joke. Ur mom.

Kid: I don't want to go to the movies.

Mom: Shut your mouth and clean my room!

Your mom is so ugly Biden likes her.

One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"

How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.

I remember my mom's last words before her divorce, "Did you just load in me?"

What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.

Your hairline is so bad, I do your mom so hard!

Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”

Mom: “That would be fine, but he hasn’t come out of his room since Friday.”

Boys: “Have you checked the closet?”

What are the last two words you say after sex before going to sleep?

"Goodnight, Mom!"

When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."

Your mom has a bone to pick with me.

Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.

Kid at school tells an orphan, "I fucked your mom."

Orphan: "What's a mom?"

Spanish is difficult. When my mom gives me food, she says "toma," and that's drink in English, so I always drink my food.

Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.