Mom jokes

I see a poor guy. Mini me be like- mama, can I give my spare money to him? 🤗 And my mum says yes, so I give my money and home feeling SO NICE, while MY MOM knows he's going to spend it on DRUGS. We go back tomorrow and then after we go to the same place and then I see him with drugs.

Me- what I think fck what I do 😭.

Like this joke. Ur mom.

Your mom is so ugly Biden likes her.

Kid: I don't want to go to the movies.

Mom: Shut your mouth and clean my room!

One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"

How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.

I remember my mom's last words before her divorce, "Did you just load in me?"

What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.

My mom asked, "Why are you so depressed? It could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer."

I replied, "I wish I were Tracy Latimer because then someone would kill me."

Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!

What are the last two words you say after sex before going to sleep?

"Goodnight, Mom!"

The only woman to ever tell you that they loved you was your mom. (If she even loved you in the first place.)

Kid: Mom, do trees poop?

Mom: Yes. That is how we get #2 pencils.

When you were born, your mom said you were out of bounds, so you went flying out of the hospital.

B b b b bird bird bird, the bird banged your mom!

My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."

I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.

Why are orphans so sad?

Because every time they swallow, they think... "You should have Mom."

Why do orphans not like jokes?

Because they hate your "mom" and "dad" joke because they miss their parents. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

My mom told me we were flying to a building to see my aunt. I wondered, "Are we about to relive 9/11?"

1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?

2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.

3. My foot lasts longer than your life.