Mom: Hey hun, need some money for lunch at school?
Son: No, I got 1k already.
Mom: Wait, what, how?
Son: Mom's wallet is magic.
Mom Jokes
You know we straight with doin' your mom.
My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your stepfather."
Q: A mom had 5 children: January, February, March, April. What is the name of the fifth child?
A: What.
Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?
Me: Aren't you my son?
Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.
So I was playing on my phone, and my mom said to go and take the trash out, so I pick up my sister and threw her in the garbage bin and said, "Mom told me to." And when I came back in, my mom said not to do that ever again, but then I told her that she says not to lie, so I was doing the right thing. 👍
My mom said to go do the dishes, but she did them before me, so I killed myself.
We are having a sleepover and we are being as quiet as possible.
Addison: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, THOSE ARE GREAT JOKES!!!
Layne: IKR
Mom: SHUT UP, YOUR BROTHER IS TRYING TO SLEEP.
Addison: ok fine.
Layne: Look at this joke.
Addison: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
*Addison and Layne continue laughing really loudly*
My mom said I rely on my devices too much, so I unplugged her life support.
Your mom gay.
What is the difference between me and the Twin Towers?
My mom was only airplane feeding me a spoon.
Why did the man get run over?
Ur mom XD
Your mom said my cum tastes like Captain Crunch, bitch.
Jake: Can I go outside?
Mom: Did you clean your room?
Jake: No.
Mom: Then f*ck no.
Jake: Alright, bet.
(Brother named No)
Your Mom's Favorite Book, Chapter 1: How To Cook.
I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.
Still waiting on an answer.
Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.
What's the difference between an orphan and Daniel Larusso?
At least Daniel has a mom.
My mom told me to recycle the trash. I guess I’m taking you for another bike ride!
An orphan thinks he finally sees his mom, but then he realizes it's air.
