Mom jokes

Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!

My mom told me we were flying to a building to see my aunt. I wondered, "Are we about to relive 9/11?"

My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."

I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.

1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?

2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.

3. My foot lasts longer than your life.

The only woman to ever tell you that they loved you was your mom. (If she even loved you in the first place.)

Why do orphans not like jokes?

Because they hate your "mom" and "dad" joke because they miss their parents. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I ate my mom.

Little Johnny woke up at midnight on Christmas Eve to Santa with his pants down on top of his mom. He then said, "Ho ho OH YEAH!!!"

I took the trash to the recycling bin, and two days later, my mom asked me, "Where's your sister?" I said, "In the recycling line to be turned into a bottle."

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

Is your mom a virgin?

Mine is.

How am I alive?

You tell me.

I love my mom.

Why are orphans so sad?

Because every time they swallow, they think... "You should have Mom."

You're so ugly not even your mom thinks you're beautiful.

Your mom is so fat that she made the earth flat.

Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday?

Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day.

Teacher: Why is that your least favorite?

Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive.

Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Your mom is hot.

B b b b bird bird bird, the bird banged your mom!

When you were born, your mom said you were out of bounds, so you went flying out of the hospital.

Kid: Mom, do trees poop?

Mom: Yes. That is how we get #2 pencils.