Mom jokes

I sold my vacuum the other day.

All I got was dust and my mom's wig.

Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.

If you're mad, go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their mom?

Your mom #69.

Why does the orphan eat water with cereal?

Mom forgot to come back with the milk.

Your mom's so fat, Donald Trump built the wall around her.

Your mom is so fat she was the reason why the Titanic crashed.

Your mom and your dad.

Why can't an orphan play football? Because they don't have a dad or mom.

Ur mom.

Oh wait, you don't have one.

My mom said, "You are in big trouble!"

I said, "Are you going to punish me?"

Sara's Mom was helping her prepare for her driver's test.

Mom: "Okay, any questions?"

Sara: "Yes. I actually don't know what "yield" means."

Mom: "Don't worry, Hon. No one does."

Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.

Son: Really?

Also 2 hours later:

Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.

Mom: Son, I-

Person: You suck!

Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎

I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."

What do moms want for Mother's Day? Replacement silverware.

My mom told me a joke about boxing.

I guess I missed the punch line.

Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!

What did mommy spider say to baby spider?

You spend too much time on the web.

What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.