A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
Your mom is so fat she was the reason why the Titanic crashed.
Your mom's so fat, Donald Trump built the wall around her.
Why can't an orphan play football? Because they don't have a dad or mom.
Your mom and your dad.
I sold my vacuum the other day.
All I got was dust and my mom's wig.
Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.
I punched my mom for no freaking reason.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad or mom never came home with the milk.
Your mom #69.
Me: I will f**k ur mom.
Orphan: I don't have one.
Me: ......
If you're mad, go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their mom?
So I left my mom with my baby, and I was terrified when I came back; the wheelchair was in the water.
POV: You're an orphan.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your mom.
I asked an orphan where his mom was. He started crying, so I said it again.
And well, that was my last day at the orphanage.
Why does the orphan eat water with cereal?
Mom forgot to come back with the milk.
Ur mom.
Oh wait, you don't have one.
Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.
Son: Really?
Also 2 hours later:
Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.
Mom: Son, I-
I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
