Mom jokes

My mom wanted me to brush my hair.

And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...

Your mom is so fat, they asked if she was a sumo wrestler.

Teacher: Everyone, tomorrow is bring your mom to school day.

Me: Sorry but my mom's not gonna make it.

Teacher: Why?

Me: I'm an orphan, bitch.

"-JuicyFruitSnacks- A whole lot of pepper and a whole lot of salt. If I blame it on my friends, it won't be my fault."

-Mully- This is my mom left!!

Evan, me and your mom are done with you.

Mom: Hey, there's IHOP.

Kid: You hop to.

Mom

if an atom makes up everything im still suprised how it made ur mom

Daughter: Dad, why did Mom do best?

Dad: Nothing, except pretend to love us and leave.

Daughter: So she only loves my sister?

Dad: Yep.

He was a head of his class... Mom always says, "Stay ahead!"

I love you. You too. I love you. You have a good night. Love. Love. I love you. You and your mom, love. Love. You have the best friends. Love. You have fun. Love. Is it good? You you have to walk home from school and walk walk home from school. I have fun at home.

Ur mom so stupid that she thought that Seventeen has four ghost members.

Your mom's so small that she hang glided on a Dorito!

What's the difference between me and you?

I leave white stains in your mom's bed, and you leave white stains in my mom's bed!

"If you're good at something, never do it for free."

Rapboat's mom charges $5 a blowie.

What did Rapboat's mom say to Rapboat?

"Is it in yet?"

Your mom is so ugly that she made a mirror shatter.

Your mom is so ugly that she uses Snapchat filters to make her pretty.

Your mom's been giving me attitude lately, so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did, it caused me to lose 4 inches.

Tell your mom happy last night. 🍆 in my bed.